Interviewer: what would you say your biggest weakness is?
Everyone in the world: I’m just such a perfectionist.
*rolls eyes whilst holding hand up in confession of using this phrase…* Okay, so the dreaded interview question makes us all suddenly throw any semblance of our authentic selves straight out of the nearest window, puff out our chests and pile on the armour – so why are we still so afraid of showing weakness as leaders?
On a post-work walk, listening to Melody Hobson on Adam Grant’s ‘Taken for Granted’ podcast episode (see link below), I was struck by Melody’s take on criticism and feedback. Paraphrasing hugely, she states that it’s not enough to simply ask for feedback and expect authenticity in your peers and coworkers, you have to be prepared to show some self-awareness of vulnerability in order to instil trust that you can indeed handle their potential honesty. It’s all well and good saying ‘I want you to hold me accountable’ to your team if you bite the head off the first person who innocently offers their perspective to you. You can count on never being offered any constructive criticism again as the team cowers away from you as that trust erodes.
So, how can we show that no, really, we mean it!
Writers, business leaders and thinkers have been talking about vulnerability in the workplace more noticeably across the last decade. My personal favourites being Brene Brown, Kim Scott and Adam Grant. All reaffirming the belief that acknowledging ourselves as fallible and showing our learning and growth from failing forward or identifying weaknesses, is ultimately empowering those who are learning around you. Not only will it establish safe boundaries to help open more honest dialogue for all; we learn far more from stories than we do ‘rules’, so listening to true tales of development helps it ‘stick’.
Of course, there’s a limit. A leader who makes endless mistakes perhaps ought to reconsider not only sharing these but their position overall. But that’s another blog…
So – this rambling has led me to challenge myself to acknowledge and pick apart one of my own weaknesses. A) to practise what I preach and B) to see what I can do about it. Happy to take feedback! No! For real!
My weakness: I can be so eager to improve or fix a situation, that in setting up the agenda and situation to do so, I can rush too soon to the ‘solution’. This has its merits, of course in a lot of instances where quick decision making is required or you’re having to prioritise lots of issues, or time is incredibly limited but that aside, fear not – this isn’t a humble brag. This is a genuine weakness and there are times where it results in negative consequences for myself and those around me.
So here goes, let’s explore…what are the problems?
1) It can stop the conversation far too soon. By rushing to the result, it can limit the voice of others – especially those who have the experience, knowledge or perspective I perhaps don’t in the situation. Despite my intentions being for positive change; I now realise that perceptions can be ‘she’s not listening / interested / respecting me / understanding’.
Solution: allocate the time and space the topic deserves, if unsure – ask. ‘How would this be best approached?… here is how I was thinking of setting the scene up here, does that seem appropriate to you?’…
2) More expertise may be required.
Once you’re deeper into an issue or challenge, you might realise that you and your team only have a limited amount of expertise and external voices or research is needed to move this further. Sticking rigidly to a deadline won’t provide the space for that to happen.
Solution: create a generic checklist for all situations like this including ‘Is external expertise required?’ Set multiple deadlines and if the task is finished sooner, great. You may still want to keep the later deadline to review and reflect. Fresh eyes are always helpful!
3) You’re unlikely to have full team buy-in.
As a leader there’s nothing worse than knowing you’re team is halfheartedly nodding simply to placate you, get to their lunch quicker (fair enough) or because they fear you’ll never listen anyway so what’s the point? Rushing through to that ‘finish line’ to achieve the perfect operational system is great for ticking off that to-do list, feeling a personal short-lived sense of progress and yes, it can help you move on to lots of other pressing issues however if your team isn’t in it 100%, it won’t work. You will end up back where you started, this time with hungrier, grumpier and even more disillusioned people looking at you.
Solution: actively seek feedback from all participants. Ask open questions and encourage people to play roles of devil’s advocate or critical eyes so bases are covered and everyone’s had a say. Allow varied forms of contribution both in and out of the meeting before finalising and resolving the outcome. Remember to use collective pronouns – we, us, our – to share the progress and achievements.
So there’s my confession. I admit I can be too eager to do it all and complete it all but I’ve learned, sometimes the hard way, that my ‘weakness’ needs some attention and by building in some structural changes they’ll force the rewiring of my brain when I can’t always trust myself not to get carried away or feel the pressure of time running away.
I hope this helps someone! I’d love to hear more ideas or your own ‘weaknesses’ and what can be done about them.
Finding Our Words 